Bystander to Upstander – Thursday, January 23, 2020

How can we stop bullying? It takes everyone!

• Good bullying prevention handles the problem from many angles. The entire school community—students, families, administrators, teachers, and staff— must create a culture of respect and address bullying when it happens.
• The school must take action to address bullying. You can help by telling a trusted adult:
  
  • When you witness bullying
  • When you experience bullying

What can you do as a student?

• Bystanders who step up on behalf of people being bullied make a huge difference.
  
  • When bystanders intervene, bullying stops within 10 seconds 57% of the time.
  • A bystander can be anyone at school or in the community.
• Watch the video below:

Discuss:

• Have you ever stepped up to support someone who was being bullied? What did you do?
• Why do you think more people don’t step up to stop bullying?
• How would you react if someone stepped in to stop others from bullying you?

From Bystander to Upstander

Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ft3-M-URVzo

Upstanders in Action

Upstanders intervene safely using 3 D s:

• Direct – Directly address the perpetrator or ask the victim if they are okay
• Delegate – Remember that a lot of bullying is about power. You can be more powerful if you have help. If it’s physical, get help from an adult to make sure everyone is safe.
• Distract – Be creative to diffuse the situation. This gives everyone a chance to cool down and might help a victimized person get away.

*Avoid using bullying behaviors to stop bullying. Using insults can make the situation worse or more intense.

Reflect:

• What are some ways to be direct if you are witnessing bullying?
• How would you distract someone who is bullying someone else?
• How would you delegate (get help from someone else)? 

October is National Bullying Prevention Month – Tuesday, October 1, 2019

End the hate… change the culture

• Every October, schools and organizations across the country join STOMP Out Bullying™ in observing National Bullying Prevention Month.
• The goal: encourage schools, communities and organizations to work together to stop bullying and cyberbullying and put an end to hatred and racism by increasing awareness of the prevalence and impact of all forms of bullying on all children of all ages.
• Each week there will be a challenge you can participate in spread awareness, take leadership, and overall just be a better version of yourself.

The week of October 7th: Make friends with someone you don’t know

• If you’ve ever been isolated from others at school or you were new at school and it took time to make friends, you know what it feels like to be left out. Or even if you were never isolated, imagine how it would feel.
• Make friends with someone at school who you don’t know. Look around the classroom, is there someone you don’t know? Make a point of introducing yourself to them at some point during this period or later today.

On Monday, October 7th

• WEAR BLUE for World Day of Bullying Prevention. The color blue was chosen because in many cultures it is seen as bringing calmness and peace, as well as importance and confidence

The Week of October 14th: STAND UP for Others Week

• When you see someone being bullied, be brave and STAND UP for them. Bullies have been known to back off when others stand up for victims.
• If you don’t feel safe get the help of an adult immediately. Be part of the solution — not the problem!
• Creating positive messages on post-its and handing them out to students at school or putting inspirational messages in random lockers.
• Practice common courtesy by holding the door open for someone, saying thank-you to teachers after class, or other simple acts that take less than 5 seconds!
• When you see another student being mean or bullying a classmate, don’t feed into it by staring, laughing, or giving it any attention. We don’t want to promote negativity and hate.
• What are some other things you could do?

It’s a time to see everyone’s differences and celebrate their similarities: Whether students are LGBT, African American, Asian, Muslim, of Tribal descent or disabled …make friends.

The Week of October 21st: Week of Inclusion

• Don’t let anyone at school eat alone in the cafeteria or on a school field trip. Make it the week of #NOONEEATSALONE
• Include other students in school activities (think about inviting others to your group outside during lunch or after school.)
• At one point or another each of us has felt insecure, stressed out, or alone. It is important to remind our friends and classmates that we are all in it together and we are there to listen and support each other.

The Week of October 28th: Start the Week With Conversations Amongst Your Peers

• Hold a discussion in your classroom where you allow students to openly speak and discuss their experiences with bullying and cyberbullying, and how these experiences have effected them and how they dealt with these moments.
• This can be done during Advisory in Community Circles or as a review about classroom culture and norms.
• The Week of October 28th is Spirit Week which is meant to boost school spirit and morale! Focus the conversations on ways we can continue to contribute to ROAR.

Have you been a victim?

• Here is a four step method that’ll show you how to boost your confidence, protect yourself from harm and find help.
  (Ignore the part where it tells you to print a worksheet at 1:23)
• Please watch the Ways to Stop Bullying video below. 

Stop Bullying! 

Stop Bullying! is an awareness tool created by Leaders of the Pack – Leadership and Prevention Student Group

Let’s review: What is Bullying?

• Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that can be both direct or indirect . The behavior is repeated, or can be repeated, over time.
• People who bully try to use power over others.
• It can be  physical, verbal, or include gestures and non-verbal actions , and include damage to property .
• Bullying that uses technology is called electronic bullying or cyberbullying .  
• Some bullying is illegal and can be criminal such as
  
  • Harassment
  • Hazing
  • Assault

Who does it affect?

• Most bullying happens in middle school.
• Between 1 in 4 and 1 in 3 U.S. students say they have been bullied at school.
• Approximately 30% of youth admit to bullying others in surveys.
• 70.6% of youth say they have seen bullying in their schools.

Really, It affects us all

• Bullying is not usually a simple interaction between a student who bullies and a student who is bullied. It can involve groups of students who support each other in bullying other students.
• Bullying affects those who are bullied, those who bully others, and those who see bullying going on.
• Some effects may last into adulthood and impact behavior, mental health, substance use, aggression, and academic problems for people who bully and people who are bullied

Discussion questions

• Where at Meany does bullying happen the most? Why?
• Who would you talk to if you or a friend were being bullied?
• What are ways we can support those who are targeted by bullies?
• How can we as a community to create a culture of safety and respect?

Thank you!

Please join us during lunch in Room 42 to have talk more about Bullying! Remember it is first come, first serve.

Safety Tips – Advisory for Thursday, September 12, 2019

Is Seattle Safe?

• You’ll hear people say both that Seattle is a safe city, and that it’s got its dangerous side. In fact, both are true. Seattle has ranked as one of the safest cities for walkers which is great since so many student walk to Meany. It is important to be aware of Safety tips as you navigate the city.

Street Smarts

• Know your transit routes. Get off of your phone and be aware of your surroundings. If you insist on wearing headphones, make sure the volume is low enough to hear your surroundings. If a person or group makes you feel uncomfortable, cross the street, walk in another direction, or ask other people you trust to walk with you. Make eye contact with people around you carry yourself with confidence.

Safety on Metro/Sound Transit Routes

• Pay attention to your surroundings when walking to or from transit stops and on buses or trains.Thieves on transit are on the lookout for cellphones, jewelry or other valuables.If there is a problem on the bus or train, notify the driver and/or call 911.Keep all personal belongings close by.If you have concerns about safety at or near your stop, contact your driver or call 911.

Common Sense

• Whether you’re new the city or have lived here your whole life, be aware of your surroundings and stay in well-populated areas unless you’re familiar with the area.Seattle has a lot of small alleys cutting behind or between buildings. It’s best to stay on well-lit sidewalks with the rest of humanity than taking a short cut through an isolated area.Don’t flash valuables or large amounts of cash around.Don’t walk alone at night.Anything else?

Quiz yourself:

• Do you know your parent/guardians phone number by memory (ie: WITHOUT looking at your phone)?Do you know a secondary trusted adults number by memory if you cannot get ahold of your parent/guardian?What would you do if you got lost?

Have you seen this sign? Safe Place is a program for youth ages 12-17 in King County who need a Safe Place to stay. Youth can call our 24/7 hotline for help or visit any designated Safe Place site. If you or a friend need help, call 1-800-422-TEEN or go to any designated Safe Place site

What if I don’t have a phone, or it was taken away? King County Safe Place is part of a national network of more than 20,000 partnering businesses and community locations all around the country that volunteer to help youth in crisis by displaying the yellow diamond Safe Place signIf you see this sign, go in this establishment and tell them you need help. Some Additional Resources:

• To speak with a teen phone worker between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m. (PST), please call toll free: 1-866-TEENLINK | 866-833-6546The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. You can call 1-800-273-8255 or visit the TeenLink website. The 24-Hour Crisis Line provides immediate help to individuals, families and friends of people in emotional crisis. We can help you determine if you or your loved one needs professional consultation and we can link you to the appropriate services. Call 866-427-4747

What do I do if I see or hear of a threat after school hours?

• All SPS staff and members of the community are encouraged to report anything and everything they see or hear or are made aware of if it may impact any school or school program. If you see or hear something, say something. The reporting can be made via 911 or by contacting the SPS Security Department at 206-252-0707.SPS Security and, if required, SPD will determine course of action and next steps in order to maintain a safe and secure school environment.

Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying (HIB)

• Concerns about harassment, intimidation, or bullying should first be reported to a school administrator (Principal or Assistant Principal). Reports can be made verbally or in writing.

Question: Who are the Administrators?

• If you are not comfortable reporting to an Administrator you can also tell another trusted adult such as your Advisory teacher, your School Counselor or another staff member.

Gender, LGBTQ, & Black Lives Matter

If you would like to learn more, including about clubs and organizations that you can join as an LGBTQ individual or advocate, ask Mrs. Baker!

Some LGBTQ Terms

• Ally – A person who is not LGBTQ but shows support for LGBTQ people and promotes equality in a variety of ways.
• Homophobia – The fear and hatred of or discomfort with people who are attracted to members of the same sex.
• LGBTQ – An acronym for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer.”
• Sexual orientation – An inherent or immutable enduring emotional or romantic attraction to other people

Some Terms Around Gender

• Gender identity refers to a personal identification with a particular gender and gender role in society.
• Gender expression – External appearance of one’s gender identity, usually expressed through behavior, clothing, haircut or voice, and which may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine.
• Cisgender is a term for people whose gender identity matches the sex that they were assigned at birth. Cisgender may also be defined as those who have “a gender identity or perform a gender role society considers appropriate for one’s sex“
• Transgender is a term for people who have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their assigned sex.
• Gender-fluid – a person who does not identify with a single fixed gender

Gender versus Sex

The whole situation about “how many genders are there” is a big conundrum of miscommunication. Let’s clarify the differences between gender and sex.

• Gender is the range of characteristics pertaining to, and differentiating between, masculinity and femininity. Depending on the context, these characteristics may include biological sex, sex-based social structures, or gender identity.
• Sex is also known as “biological gender”; which is simply, whatever you have in between your legs.

When you are born, the doctor looks at your genitals, and assigns you to one of two categories. Male (boy) or Female (girl).

Some people think there are only 2 genders, some think there are as many as 63.

Nationwide Statistics about LGBTQ adults and LGBTQ youth in America:

How many lesbian, gay, bisexual, & transgender people?

• 9 MILLION LGBT people in the United States
  • More than the populations of Wyoming, Vermont, North Dakota, Alaska. South Dakota, Delaware, Montana, Rhode lsland, Hawaii, and Maine COMBINED
  • That’s 3.5% of the U.S. Population
• 25.6 MILLION are “Questioning”
  • 25.6 million Americans (11%) have some same-sex sexual attraction.
  • 19 million Americans (8.2%) have engaged in same-sex sexual behavior
• By comparison, in the USA, there are:
  • 5.5 million Mormons
  • 5.3 million Jews
  • 3-4 million Muslims
• 4,187,945 Bisexuals
  • That’s 46.5% of the LGBT population
• 901,997 same-sex couples
• 194,629 raising children
• 697,529 transgender people

More from the Human Rights Campaign:

• 75% of LGBT youth say that most of their peers do not have a problem with their identity is LGBT.
• 4 in 10 LGBT youth (42%) say the community in which they live is not accepting of LGBT people.
• 26% of LGBT youth say their biggest problems are not feeling accepted by their family, trouble at school/bullying, and a fear to be out/open. 22% of non-LGBT youth say their biggest problems are trouble with class, exams and grades.
• 92% of LGBT youth say they hear negative messages about being LGBT. The top sources are school, internet, and their peers. 

We still have a long way to go…

• In 2015 The Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage is a legal right.
• Then 2016 became the deadliest year on record for the LGBTQ community.
• In 2017 more than 100 anti-LGBTQ bills were introduced in 29 states.
• This trend continues to this day.

Of hate crimes committed in this country the most were against Black people, 2nd was against LGBTQ people.

Black LGBTQ Lives

“There’s risk of discrimination, erasure and violence in most any space that we’re in. There’s anti-Blackness in many LGBTQ spaces, and anti-Queerness in many Black spaces. Black LGBTQ folks are constantly put in a position of having to choose between race and sexual/gender identity. Worse, not only are we expected to “pick a side,” but it never is to benefit us.”

There are incredibly offensive names that you can call both a black person and an LGBTQ person. What if you are Black and LGBTQ, and are called both? Is one name worse than the other?

As we recognize and celebrate Pride Month, it is important to take a moment to remember and honor the contributions black LGBT figures who have shone throughout the course of our nation’s history.

These black LGBTQ icons, while often invisible or erased from the dominant queer narrative, have been at the heart of the struggle for rights and inclusion.

Miss Major Griffin-Gracy
Often referred to as Miss Major, she trans woman activist and community leader for transgender rights, with a particular focus on women of color. She serves as the Executive Director for the Transgender Gender Variant Intersex Justice Project, which aims to assist transgender persons who are disproportionately imprisoned. She has participated in activism for a wide range of causes throughout her lifetime, including the 1969 Stonewall riots in New York City.

Janet Mock
Janet Mock rose to success as an editor for People.com, and came out to the public as a transgender woman in 2011. Janet combines her roles as author and advocate to inspire dialogue and reach out to the LGBT community. She has strengthened the network of trans girls and women by creating the hashtag #GirlsLikeUs and, earlier this month, published her first memoir, Redefining Realness. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Wanda Sykes
Emmy-award winning comedy writer and actress, Wanda Sykes has been considered by some to be one of the funniest people in America. She came out in 2008, after marrying her now-wife, with whom she has two kids. Since then, Wanda Sykes has displayed her dedication to marriage equality, and won a GLAAD Stephen F. Kolzak Award in 2010. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Jason Collins
Jason Collins became the first active male athlete from a major American professional team sport to come out as gay in 2013 on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Since then, Jason has continuously worked to increase visibility and understand of LGBT athletes. His bravery won praise and support from President Obama and Oprah Winfrey. Michelle Obama even welcomed Jason as her guest to the 2014 State of the Union Address. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Kylar Broadus
Founder of the Trans People of Color Coalition (TPOCC), Kylar Broadus became the first transgender person ever to testify before the US Senate when he spoke in support of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) in June 2012. Kylar has a background in finance but was forced out of his field when he transitioned. A former attorney and current law professor at Lincoln University of Missouri, Kylar now works with the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force on matters of public policy and transgender civil rights. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Bayard Rustin
Bayard Rustin involvement with the Civil Rights Movement of the 20th century extended back into the 1940s, and was rooted in his religious convictions and nonviolent approach. These principles, combined with Bayard’s history of organized social action readied him to eventually become the Deputy Director and Chief Organizer of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. Bayard was also key in organizing the first Freedom Rides and, along side Martin Luther King, Jr., the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. The award winning advocate and influential political strategist work tirelessly to bring about racial equality, workers’ rights, protection for refugees, and international human rights. Arrested in the ’50s for “homosexual activity,” Bayard was often concerned that being openly gay would draw excessive eroticism to his advocacy work, yet he remained a proud, vocal supporter of equality for gay people. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Darren Young
Darren Young had been interested in wrestling professionally since he was a teenager, and stepped out in the independent circuit in 2002, then ultimately signed with the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) a few years later. He’s been wrestling wish the WWE ever since. In August of last year, during an interview, Darren became the first openly gay wrestler to come out while still signed, and was met with support from fellow wrestlers as well as the WWE at large. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Frank Ocean
Grammy-winning artist Frank Ocean debuted his solo album in 2012 and, just a few months later, bravely became one of the first major hip hop artists to be open about having been in love with a man. He shared details about his past relationship on his Tumblr, and received much support throughout the industry. Musicians and moguls like Beyonce, Russell Simmons, and T Pain have continuously expressed pride in Frank’s courage and openness. His ability to break free of rigid categories, in conjunction with his emotionally provocative lyrics and unique melodies that have garnered a wide range of awards and nominations, make Frank a modern icon. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Laverne Cox
2013 seemed like the Year of Laverne Cox and, so far, 2014 appears to be heading in the same awesome direction. The actress, producer, reality star, and writer has been on the scene for a number of years, but skyrocketed to new heights of fame last summer when the world fell in love with Orange is the New Black and her trans character on the series, Sophia. Just as her role broadened dialogue about trans women of color’s experiences, Laverne is dedicated to rendering cultural change by uniquely uniting her mainstream visibility with hard-hitting social insights. Among the many contributions to trans equality she’s made, the most recent include standing closely by CeCe McDonald. Laverne brought attention to CeCe’s story, joined her this week for an hour-long conversation with Democracy Now, and is co-producing the documentary “FREE CECE.” Laverne is as emotionally stirring and thought provoking on screen as she is in her advocacy. Read about more black LGBT icons.

Watch & Discuss

Watch the video below about a BLM protest during Toronto’s Pride Parade and Discuss:

• Why were the BLM protesters demanding that police floats and booths be excluded from Pride?
• What are some of the difficulties of trying to bring together the BLM movement and the Pride movement? Are there other reasons besides the police?
• What are your thoughts on the similarities and differences between these two movements?

Consent School-wide Lesson – November 19th and 20th, 2018

What is consent?

• Consent is a clear and enthusiastic “yes”. Consent is an active, voluntary, and verbal agreement. Consent is a process and a conversation Consent can always be withdrawn

Also Known as: Agreement, Assent, Permission, Authorization, Clearance, Approval, Support, Confirmation, Endorsement, Go-ahead, Ok, Green-light, Allow Why is consent so important?

• Consent is giving another person or persons permission to do something.

Informed Consent

• Informed consent assumes that when you make your decision, you are not pressured – you freely choose based on what you feel is best for you

Someone is able to give their free and informed consent if they:

• Know what they are consenting to Are able to choose whether or not to do something Know what their feelings are about the particular situation Are able to communicate their choice
  • without coercion; either a “yes” or “no” is acceptable not refusing does not equal consent
  Are able to understand if something is harmful Are able to prevent being harmed, physically or emotionally, by another.

It is everyone’s responsibility to ensure that they have their partner’s consent before and during intimacy. Contact with another person’s body, whether sexual or not, must always include consent. No one should touch another without their consent. The “Gray Zone”

• Encounter that falls “somewhere between consent and denial, “where “both parties are unsure of who wanted what.”

#MeToo

• The issue of sexual harassment and assault gained national attention in 2017 with a tsunami of sexual misconduct allegations against some of the most powerful men in entertainment, politics and business. The #MeToo hashtag went viral on social media, with women telling their stories of sexual harassment and assault in a movement that may be a tipping point for women’s rights in the United States.

#MeTooK12

• #MeTooK12 is a social media hashtag used to represent the national nonprofit organization, Stop Sexual Assault in Schools (SSAIS), to encourage young people who were sexually harassed or assaulted while attending K-12 schools to speak out. In 2012, a Seattle High School student was sexually assaulted on an overnight field trip. The family fought for years with the Seattle Public Schools district about culpability in the case before settling for $700,000.

When it happens in school…

• Many organizations have long been skeptical of schools’ low reporting rates when it comes to sexual harassment and bullying. They are now further examining the differences in reported rates by state and differences in the rates at which girls and boys report sexual harassment. The analysis revealed that more than three-fourths (79 percent) of all public schools reported zero incidents of sexual harassment. If these numbers are accurate, 79 percent of schools have zero students coming forward to report cases of sexual harassment — despite many research reports providing evidence that this outcome is statistically impossible.

Fear of Reporting

• Victims often don’t “see the incidents are harmful or important enough” or “[want] family or other people to know.” They feel restricted by “lack of proof,” “fear of retaliation by the assailant, fear of not being believed or that others would think the incident was not serious enough and/or would not want to be bothered with the incident, “Even for victims that do report, there is not a guarantee anything will happen to the assailant and they might still have to go to school with them.

False Reporting

• There have been accounts where someone was motivated by revenge, or regret and wanted to get someone in trouble.

Rape culture

• “Rape culture” is a culture in which sexual violence is considered the norm — in which people aren’t taught not to rape, but are taught not to be raped. This puts the blame on the victim, rather than the perpetrator.